Thanks for all the support!

Just a quick thank you to all of you that have reached out and offered support, empathy and suggestions.  It's amazing (and frankly a bit daunting) to know how many friends out there I know that are going through this similar situation.  It's nice to be able to recognize other people that know what I am experiencing.  I'm happy to report too, that almost ALL the friends that were going through this have had a child or are now pregnant!  Yay!

It's very interesting to learn of all the different ways that work for everyone.  Hopefully one day, mine will be but another statistic of "what I had to go through to get pregnant" :-)  A special shout out goes to one of my vet school classmates who has gone through a lot (has a beautiful baby boy now!) and I think, will be able to help me out immensely!  Thanks K!

Going in for my first acupuncture consult and session this evening, also trying to get my hysterosalpingogram scheduled however it's not looking good for scheduling this month.  I have a feeling this month is going to be acupuncture a la natural...certainly takes away a lot of the stress...if only the financial aspect could go away too :-)

This is why I don't believe in magic.

So, while everything appeared to line up this last month with getting all the fertility treatments done in a narrow window of time, the egg + sperm were NOT one of those things that lined up according to plan.

Another month of big fat negative.  I think this picture is rather humorous.  I, of course, had a "helper" with me at 4am while I was doing my test 14 days post I.U.I and I believe she is smirking in this photo...saying, "ha-ha, we're going to be the only kids you're going to have!  4-legged ones are the best!"  (Or, in Delilah's case here, 3-legged :-)

It's been 12 months now that we've been trying.  4 months since starting fertility treatments and 2 cycles of I.U.I.  Sigh.  It really does wear on me both emotionally and physically.  I thought I had gotten a urinary tract infection from the last I.U.I since I was having these miserable bladder symptoms (peeing every hour, never feeling like I was done with horrible lower abdomen discomfort...) turns out that *this* was rolling around in my bladder and causing the irritation.  Ugh!

I really need to commit to drinking more water since I've had kidney stones 3 times now and this is the second time with an extremely irritating bladder stone.  I think I'm going to put myself on SO.  (Veterinary urinary diet for animals with or susceptible to stones. :-)

Since I'm JUST now feeling better after a weeks + time of bladder misery, I'm just *not* really in the mood for lots of foreign objects up around in there. I think I'm going to shake things up a little bit.  Randy and I talked and I think I'm going to go forth with the hysterosalpingogram (yeah, even I had to look that one up!)  The"hsg" is an x-ray test that takes a picture after dye has filled the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes. The picture will reveal any abnormalities of the uterus as well as tubal problems such as blockage and dilation. Sometimes forcing dye through the tube will dislodge any material which blocks it. A number of women have become pregnant following a hysterosalpingogram without further treatment.  I wouldn't start placing your bets yet.

Following this procedure, I'm taking this month off from fertility drugs and I.U.I.  I'm going to start acupuncture and take some deep breaths and a little focus off of trying, trying, trying. I'll keep you posted as new events unfold.

So let's catch up now, shall we?

I figure it's time for an update!  I've told a few new people about this blog and it hasn't been updated in over a month so that's not great! 

We left off after September ended up being the big fat negative, which led us into October and the "timing" issues.

Over the "key week" in October for the necessary Dr's visits, ultrasounds, injections and IUI, I was in San Antonio for my first week long session of veterinary acupuncture training so I was unable to do the whole course of fertility treatments that I had done in September.  Randy came over to visit in San Antonio but I had NO idea how absolutely exhausted I would be each day after lecture/labs so it was a rather boring visit for Randy!

I had grand hopes that "not being worried" about the whole fertility/getting pregnant thing last month would have that wonderful "it'll happen when you stop thinking about it" effect that so many people talk about, but alas, despite being 5 days late, that pregnancy test was negative!  I have figured out my kiss of doom is to take a pregnancy test for inevitably the next day will come the "proof" of the negativity! :-)

I was worried that this month was going to have the same "scheduling issues" as last month as I am in San Antonio again for the second week of acupuncture class, but due to being "late" last month actually helped out with the scheduling this month and being back town for the necessary appointments.  In fact it couldn't have been timed more perfectly...I get back to Houston tomorrow after being on my fertility meds the last week and go in for my follicle scan ultrasound on Monday and have IUI scheduled for Wednesday.  So between being out of town, the weekend, and Thanksgiving, things lined up nicely...Maybe everything will continue to be aligned nicely and it'll be the magic month :-)

This month I have really felt the effects of the fertilty meds I'm on.  I have been on an uncontrollable emotional roller coaster!  Yesterday I kept feeling this overwhelming sadness and I just "needed" to cry.  Good lord....who knew that 20/20 could be that sad?!?!   Luckily the emotions are relatively fleeting and I'm feeling better today!




Everyone have a great Thanksgiving, be thankful for what you have in life.
Maybe I'll have a little more to be thankful for after this month... We'll see!!!

Pity Party of One...Your table is now ready

Well, as only Mother Nature could deliver the news, thus it was delivered.  
I tested on Wednesday (after what we now know was Mexican food induced nausea:)

I tested on Sunday, because, well it was Sunday and things shoulda been happening:

(Sorry for the blurriness, was taken w/ my phone...but you can get the "one line" gist of the negative-ness!)

And then as to add insult to injury, probably not 15 mins after testing on Sunday came the obvious proof.
So, while September was fun, it's back to the drawing board.  However the part that really bums me out is that I will be gone during the "important" week of October in San Antonio.

See everything for fertility is done on a specific "day" of your cycle.  The first day your period starts is Day 1 and then fertility meds start on Day 3, the ultrasound to determine if the fertility drugs are working is on Day 12, the shot to induce ovulation is given on Day 12, then the IUI (and expected ovulation) occurs on Day 14.   I am gone on cycle days 10-15 this month so that is going to make all of the above a bit difficult this month.  Not only for the obvious but because I'll also miss all my doctors appointments. 

So truthfully, I do NOT see October being a fruitful month.

I know people do this for months and months at a time and I admire them...I already feel the frustration when each month nothing has happened.  This November it will be a year of trying for us with the last 2 months being on fertility treatment.

Well, I guess this just allows me to resume my running and heavy lifting and surgery!  If I can't be preggos, at least I'll try to get skinny and be productive!!

Until next time...which I'm not sure when that'll be....

No (definitive) news yet...

No great news as of yet. I was due to test on Friday but since I was feeling nauseous on Tuesday in the middle of the night (omg? Am I nauseous?!?!)  I tested early.  Negative.  Turns out it was just some bad Mexican food from Tuesday night...

However, I have been told not to fret too much since I DID test early.  And no, I haven't tested again.  Haven't wanted to wreck that anticipatory "mayyy-beeee" feeling quite yet.  I guess I'll just wait until Mother Nature makes her visit to know for sure.  If I get beyond last months date I'll test again...until then, I'll save the $15.  :-)

Oh, the waiting....

Well, first of all, I've figured there's really no way I'll be able to keep this pregnancy a secret for the first few "safe" months since everyone at work knows what I'm doing (what with the Dr's appts and missed work and all...) and the fact that I'm trying, as the Dr. says, "to already act as though you're pregnant"." That means for me, avoiding surgery, anesthetic gases, volatile compounds, chemotherapeutic drugs, etc, etc....

And the obvious fact that I've started a blog about this exact subject in itself doesn't lead much to secrecy :-) (Much to my mother's chagrin, but I told her that if all of work was going to know, (HAS to know for safety reasons) then my friends/family can know as well :-) 

However, now this part of the waiting game seems like it's going to take forever.  I'm trying not to stress, trying to stay relaxed and hopeful.  Trying not to think that the odds are against me but rather THIS was the time it'll work!  No stress....

I have a couple of weeks of "not stressing" until I can find out if this "worked" or if we get to do it all over again next month!   Meanwhile, there's not been much that I can put on the blog, since there's not much that's going to be happening.  I've been trying to imagine all sorts of phantom sore breasts, miniscule morning nausea and potential fatigue.  The most I've gotten thus far is a zit on my face (yeah, about that whole "no stress" thing... :-)

Until next time...

IUI-yi-yi-yi!

So this post will be short and pictureless... Primarily because the things that could be pictured are not things I really think we all want shared :-) and secondly because I'm typing this on my iPad since Randy is using the other computer to work through a virus on our friend's computer, and the ipad is a bit tedious for lengthy typing!

Well, the IUI was today and things went well! I titled this with yi-yi-yi because it was quite an uncomfortable procedure, but over relatively quickly! After staring at ceiling tiles for 20 minutes, I was on my way! (really, someone needs to put something interesting up there to look at....is a ceiling tv really that much to ask?? :-)

I don't think I'll have the heart to tell the kid, "when you were made, Daddy wasn't even present!" hahaha, just kidding, but I find it humorous!

Well everyone keep everything crossed and we'll wait and see!! Hopefully we'll be on our way to Moore feet soon! :-)

Follicular scan fun!

Today I had my follicle scan. The scan enables the follicle (fluid filled sacs which can contain an egg) in the ovary to be measured. When the follicles measure a certain size it can then be estimated when ovulation is likely to occur.

This person (not me!) had several well developed follicles, appears to be about 5.  Last month I had...one.
This month I had one lonely little follicle as well, like this:

However, this follicle was about ready to burst at 24mm, actually a little concerning that it is getting "over-ripe."  Too mature.  Like me :-)  However, the nurse practitioner wasn't too concerned at all about it being on the larger size and refilled my Ovidrel injection and scheduled me for IUI!  The Ovidrel is an injection that stimulates ovulation, on demand, essentially.

Once the Ovidrel is given this evening, ovulation is expected to occur about 36 hours later...which is when the IUI or intrauterine insemination is set up!  IUI is performed by threading a very thin flexible catheter through the cervix and injecting washed sperm directly into the uterus. Sounds exciting doesn't it? The odds of success are reported to be just under 6 percent and as high as 26 percent per cycle so keep your fingers crossed!

Starting out...

Took me a few days to start this...I'm always looking for pictures to add in and that's what slows me down but I figure I'll just get the text going and go from there.

So this blog is intended to track my path towards pregnancy and parenthood. I follow all these great blogs of people with their pregnancy and children and figured I would start at the VERY beginning :-)

Currently I'm on month #2 of fertility drugs. After the last 9 months of trying to make things work the "natural" way, we decided to embark on the next steps. Both of us are healthy and aren't showing any issues that should hinder parenthood but I guess age isn't helping much!

Last month was my first month on Clomid. With high hopes I took the med for a week, was checked and noted that I had a good developing follicle and then used the injectable ovulation induction and started on progesterone since the Clomid thinned out my uterine lining too much. No baby magic Month 1.

This month they have put me on a different fertility medication called Femara that is supposed to not have the side effects to my uterine lining that the Clomid did. *I* think I'm handling the meds great, except for some crazy hot flashes and night sweats, but if you check with Randy, he'll tell you I can be a raving bi-otch. Since I'm writing the blog though, I've been handling the meds great! :-)

Next week will be my follicle scan to see if my body is responding to the fertility drugs well. Ideally I should be producing some great, healthy good sized follicles that are just waiting to burst out with a healthy egg.

We'll see!